Just when you thought it was safe to go online . . . Serge has returned!That loveable collector of trivia, souvenirs, and murder methods is back with a new A‑Tour of Florida. And this time he's out to set the record straight!Serge is upset that his beloved state isn't getting its proper recognition, so he signs on with the big Internet travel services. But his new employers aren't exactly sure they want to send their customers to Serge's favorite haunts — nor do they want to provide tips on how to keep from getting killed on vacation.Serge couldn't disagree more, and he sets up his own wildcat site, hyper‑blogging his way down the coast with his perpetually hammered sidekick, Coleman.Unfortunately Serge's Web presence catches the attention of his nemesis, Agent Mahoney, and the chase is on.Meanwhile, professional robbery crews have begun targeting trade show exhibitors, who may or may not be what they seem. Bodies begin piling up, which is less than usual for the locale — except this time it involves rare postcards. Serge has had enough! He's forced into the only logical course of action — go shopping at the Home Depot.And this only raises more questions:Who is tutoring strippers through the community college?What sparked the grudge match between coin and stamp enthusiasts?How'd the astronaut in diapers get involved?Why does Serge have to stop at the NASCAR superstore?Where did all these diamonds come from? And does Lynyrd Skynyrd hold the key to everything?It all starts with a tragic tattoo parlor mishap and soon nobody is safe, especially the person on the Robert De Niro stool, because, after all, Serge has to sit there or what's the point of life?But wait! You say you want more? Serge says, You got it!Guns, drugs, bloody crime scenes, historically relevant sex, library quiet time, glow‑in‑the dark deformities, hotel drink coupons, a naked woman in a shark cage, and John Travolta.It's time to sign on with Serge and see where the twisting, sun‑splashed trail leads in . . . Nuclear Jellyfish!
Welcome to another typical summer in Florida, the season of the storms. Serge storms. That lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance. And not a weirdness-laced moment too soon.His cherished home state is about to take a beating, and from far more than the way-too-routine conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. Bodies have begun turning up at a disturbing rate, even for Florida, and it looks like a brutal serial killer is on the loose, which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities and he vows to stop at nothing in his juggernaut to make All Things Right . . . except if he gets bored or distracted by a cool souvenir or . . . or a . . . whatever.But his path won't be obstacle free.Agent Mahoney has picked up the scent. The obsessive criminal profiler—just released from a mental hospital where he'd been sent for getting too deep inside Serge's head—is convinced there is no second killer. Serge's personality is simply splitting from decades of burning with incandescent zest for everything under the sun. Then there's Coleman, whose triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging just might derail the mission more than the entire police community put together.The pace picks up. Winds howl, TV reporters fly around the beach, the Party Parrot parties on, and questions mount: Who's stalking Tampa Bay's most sensitive journalist? Did Tom Cruise go too easy on Matt Lauer? Do multiple orgasms improve storm tracking? Why is the feeding-tube guy so quiet? Will Molly ruin our antihero's dreams of playing the electric guitar better than Clapton? . . . All of which ultimately leads to the most pressing question on everyone's new-millennium lips:What would Serge do?
